by Teresa Currivan, LMFT

I believe that part of the problem is that we aren’t quite there yet in finding clarity and common ground regarding our understanding of boys and general neurodivergent (ND) traits for them. Because many boys who do have ADHD also have other ND traits, our general understanding of ADHD includes other ND traits that have nothing to do with ADHD on its own. ADHD has become the general diagnosis when we see neurodivergence in boys and girls. While not accurate, it usually does no harm if the boy actually has ADHD. (See my article on ADHD, linked below.) 

But more and more, I am seeing neurodivergent girls in school being given the ADHD label. Rather than admit that girls are complex, and neurodivergent girls even more so, and that we just don’t know, let’s be open to understanding their learning styles. If they can’t organize so easily, have a messy room, can’t remember where they put things, or can’t get on board with their hectic academic assignments, do they automatically belong in the ADHD box? Is ADHD ever an accurate diagnosis for girls? These are simply questions I have as the field of neurodiversity gets to know itself…. 

But first, let me explain how neurodivergence should be diagnosed with any gender. One first needs to rule out a number of traits. Is their room messy, and they can’t remember where they put things? That’s not ADHD. Do they like to deep-dive into projects rather than memorize things by rote? That’s not ADHD. Are they having mental health issues and refusing school in High School, where they were previously an A+ student? That isn’t ADHD either. Even procrastination, especially in girls, is not a sign of ADHD. Maybe they show signs of being a highly visual-spatial processor. Or lose track of time when engaged in something they love? Or maybe they have had traumatic events that prevent them from planning past tomorrow. We would first need to fully and clearly understand what to rule out, and all the factors I’ve mentioned about the female brain, many of which we don’t yet know, to fully understand their neurodivergent hard wiring. 

As with all neurodivergent traits, one needs to understand one to understand the others because they all impact each other in different ways. One co-occurring trait to varying degrees, can dramatically change how other co-occurring traits sublimate. You cannot understand one part of the child separate from the whole.  ADHD will make a visual-spatial, holistic thinker’s learning style more extreme. Being highly creative will increase a child’s intellectual ability and drive, and so on. One might be interested in exploring their relationship to time, etc. 

The concept of how each distinct neurodivergent trait and how each one interacts with the others is crucial to diagnosing the whole child, and at the same time, important in ruling any one trait out, such as ADHD or sensory processing issues, in any gender. I add that understanding girls and not jumping to conclusions, such as ADHD, will create a more positive outcome for girls’ mental health and academic achievement overall. 

(This article is supplemental to my blog post, Are we Overdiagnosing our Girls?

©Teresa Currivan, LMFT 2026 

Teresa Currivan is an author, mother, licensed marriage and family therapist, school therapist, coach, and consultant for individuals and parents at Help My Child Thrive Coaching. She developed The Currivan Protocol™ Qualitative Assessment Tool to assess and address co-occurring issues in neurodivergent students. This has been popular in her private practice and she has adapted it for use in public and private schools. She is the author of the book, My Differently Tuned-In Child: The Right Place for Strength-Based Solutions. Teresa has been published on sites such as Mother.ly, Filter Free Parents, and is a blogger at GHF and Hoagies Gifted Education and is a contributing author to the GHF Press book, “Perspectives on Giftedness.” Teresa has connections to San Francisco Bay Area schools such as Fusion Academy, Big Minds Unschool, The Academy of Thought and Industry, and the San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD.) She works with schools and families in the San Francisco Bay Area and globally.

If you would like training for your school, an assessment for your child, or parent coaching, you can contact Teresa at TeresaCurrivan@gmail.com

You may also be interested in reading How to Understand ADHD Within the Context of Neurodiversity