What is healing? It’s our natural inclination to grow. To heal our past wounds. 

When we have children it’s a great opportunity for self-growth as we watch them literally, physically grow. And whether they are biologically yours or not, you chose each other so that YOU could see your own self in some way you hadn’t before. 

I often tell parents this is level two of working with me. First we figure out how your child is wired, get them in a good enough place or at least help them understand themselves in the context of their education, peers, and self-understanding. The kids are quick studies …and quick to heal. We, dear adults, burdened with responsibilities, a lot more ingrained past, etc etc… are not as fast to heal.

But it’s possible.

I’ve healed many times over in my lifetime- and I still don’t fully understand it when I’m in the middle of it. We become adults and think we have life figured out. We are comfortable and want to forget the discomfort of growth. At least I do. And yet for some reason this is what I do for a living. Growth can be like being in a fog. By definition, it must be because any new exploration is unknown. The known is comfortable but let’s face it- can become boring at best, painful at worst. Until we do the work and break free.

The freedom on the other side is the prize.

This is the only way I can explain healing and growth. 

We see kids do this all the time, over and over. It almost defines their lives. 

When we’ve done what we can for our kids, whether parents, teachers or professionals who work with kids, growing ourselves- seeing ourselves in them: the beauty, the grace, the creativity and silliness, and the parts aching to be seen and understood. This is also us. Let them show us who we are.

Look into the mirror and be willing to grow.

©Teresa Currivan 2023 

Teresa Currivan, LMFT, Parent Coach is the author of My Differently Tuned-In Child: The Right Place for Strength-Based Solutions. She specializes in understanding and supporting families of neurodivergent children, including those with autism, giftedness, sensory processing issues, ADHD, and other outliers. She developed the Currivan Protocol™ assessment tool and has administered it worldwide to parents and teaches it in schools. She has connections to San Francisco Bay Area schools and is currently a school therapist for the San Francisco Unified School District.